I had about 10 minutes to myself as I waited on a guard to come to escort me back for the visit, enough time to recollect my thoughts after Budda being sent away. I stood there against a wall praying that God would intervene.
I sat at the table for another 5 minutes and she came in and immediately saw me and her big smile faded as she realized that Budda wasn't with me. After giving me a big hug she asked what had happened and why she wasn't there, I explained and she was heart broken. She felt that in some way it was her fault and was so apologetic. She stated that she even had the copy of the form with her name on it and that she had already been cleared.
As we sat there visiting, I noticed quite a change in Tanya. Her outlook on things were really different, her disposition was different, she was so full of joy. I was amazed and as we visited I realized that God was working so hard in her life and she was beginning to understand that God truly loves her and has a plan and a purpose for her life.
God has placed another "lifer" in her life. A very devoted Christian woman by the name of "Princess" . Princess has taken Tanya under her wings and God is really using her to reach Tanya. She told me about Princess and another prisoner, along with Tanya, going out on the "yard" and each brought their Bibles and they read from the book of John together. This other prisoner even made Tanya a necklace with a cross on it and Tanya is wearing it in the prison. She said crosses used to spook her, but not now. :)
Tanya told me about two words that she has been learning, grace and mercy. She said that when she came out of that hotel room she should have been shot but God had mercy on her and allowed her to live, and now she is realizing that God does indeed love her. Princess told Tanya, "Girl, God danced the day you were born." She loved to hear that and it meant so much to her.
There are still some issues, some confusion, that she is working on, before she becomes a Christian, which I won't go into detail about out of respect for her. I can say that she doesn't want to make this decision for everybody, that she wants to make it for herself, I told her how proud we are of her and that so many people on the "outside" are praying for her.
Tanya is a different person, she is being drawn into a relationship with the Almighty God, the Father of Jesus. It is so amazing to watch the transformation in one life, to God be the glory.
Our visit ended but before I left we held hands and prayed. She squeezed the blood out of my hands. I gave her a big hug and walked out of the door, simply amazed.
On our ride home from Baton Rouge I sat very quiet, just thinking about her and where God had brought us, the Rainwaters and Tanya.
Remember that this visit took place on my 48th birthday, and as we made our way home the realization hit me that in my 48 years of life, Tanya is the first person that I have ever really and truly invested so much into for God. My spirit was crushed and I was convicted. Yes I preached, went to the hospitals to visit the sick and pastored churches but never have I given so much of myself to the betterment of " the least of these." How many lives could have been changed, if my mind would have been on them instead of myself? How many opportunities did I miss making the difference in another life, because I didn't have the time? How many lives could have been changed, had I only been willing, willing to be used by God?
As I drove, I thanked God for the opportunity to be such a big part in Tanya's life and that I was more than willing to never miss another opportunity. Tanya may be the first, but she will not be the last. I just want to be used.
I conclude with the words of King Nebuchadnezzar, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the kings command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any God except their own God." (Daniel 3:28)
May the same words be said of us!!!!!!
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