Awesome visit with Tanya (Part 2)

I had about 10 minutes to myself as I waited on a guard to come to escort me back for the visit, enough time to recollect my thoughts after Budda being sent away. I stood there against a wall praying that God would intervene.
I sat at the table for another 5 minutes and she came in and immediately saw me and her big smile faded as she realized that Budda wasn't with me. After giving me a big hug she asked what had happened and why she wasn't there, I explained and she was heart broken. She felt that in some way it was her fault and was so apologetic. She stated that she even had the copy of the form with her name on it and that she had already been cleared.
As we sat there visiting, I noticed quite a change in Tanya. Her outlook on things were really different, her disposition was different, she was so full of joy. I was amazed and as we visited I realized that God was working so hard in her life and she was beginning to understand that God truly loves her and has a plan and a purpose for her life.
God has placed another "lifer" in her life. A very devoted Christian woman by the name of "Princess" . Princess has taken Tanya under her wings and God is really using her to reach Tanya. She told me about Princess and another prisoner, along with Tanya, going out on the "yard" and each brought their Bibles and they read from the book of John together. This other prisoner even made Tanya a necklace with a cross on it and Tanya is wearing it in the prison. She said crosses used to spook her, but not now. :)
Tanya told me about two words that she has been learning, grace and mercy. She said that when she came out of that hotel room she should have been shot but God had mercy on her and allowed her to live, and now she is realizing that God does indeed love her. Princess told Tanya, "Girl, God danced the day you were born." She loved to hear that and it meant so much to her.
There are still some issues, some confusion, that she is working on, before she becomes a Christian, which I won't go into detail about out of respect for her. I can say that she doesn't want to make this decision for everybody, that she wants to make it for herself, I told her how proud we are of her and that so many people on the "outside" are praying for her.
Tanya is a different person, she is being drawn into a relationship with the Almighty God, the Father of Jesus. It is so amazing to watch the transformation in one life, to God be the glory.
Our visit ended but before I left we held hands and prayed. She squeezed the blood out of my hands. I gave her a big hug and walked out of the door, simply amazed.
On our ride home from Baton Rouge I sat very quiet, just thinking about her and where God had brought us, the Rainwaters and Tanya.
Remember that this visit took place on my 48th birthday, and as we made our way home the realization hit me that in my 48 years of life, Tanya is the first person that I have ever really and truly invested so much into for God. My spirit was crushed and I was convicted. Yes I preached, went to the hospitals to visit the sick and pastored churches but never have I given so much of myself to the betterment of " the least of these." How many lives could have been changed, if my mind would have been on them instead of myself? How many opportunities did I miss making the difference in another life, because I didn't have the time? How many lives could have been changed, had I only been willing, willing to be used by God?
As I drove, I thanked God for the opportunity to be such a big part in Tanya's life and that I was more than willing to never miss another opportunity. Tanya may be the first, but she will not be the last. I just want to be used.
I conclude with the words of King Nebuchadnezzar, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the kings command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any God except their own God." (Daniel 3:28)
May the same words be said of us!!!!!!

Another awesome visit with Tanya (Part One)

Budda and I left around 8 am hoping to get to the prison time to have lunch with Tanya. We ended up getting there at around 11am and pulled up to the gate and were greeted by the same 2 guards that "welcomed" me 1 month ago. We parked and walked to the entrance. We were both very excited about seeing Tanya again, of course Budda still had not met her, which only added to the excitement. I was thrilled to have Budda with me for I feel alittle uncomfortable being there by myself without my wife.
We walked through the door and pulled out our drivers license and I handed mine to the guard first. She looked it up in the computer and gave me a nod of approval. She then took Buddas and I could tell by the face on that guard that something wasn't right. She informed us that Budda had not been approved for our visit and that she needed to leave the premises. Here she was in a community she had never been in, being told she would not be allowed in. I was going to just turn around and go with her but she insisted she would be alright and told me to go ahead and visit Tanya and that she would pick me up at 1:00 pm.
I pleaded with the guard and told her that I knew she had been approved and that Asst. Warden Kennedy called me personally to tell me that. She said that Kennedy was there and she would go and ask her. She came back a few minutes later and informed us that Budda has not been approved and that she must leave. There had to be a mistake.
I went on in somewhat angry having to leave my wife behind, but knew not to argue with prison staff being that it was very important for us, Tanya, and the Rainwaters to get to come back in the future.
In my post tomorrow I will share about the actual visit with Tanya. We visited for two hours and on my way out I asked the guard at the desk who I could call about this problem. She gave me the name and number. I walked from the building out to the guard shack, and again the guard said that I could not stand there and wait for Budda but that I could walked across the road, off prison grounds and wait for her.
She was waiting on me in another parking lot and we proceeded to go to the Tanger Factory Outlet. While she shopped for her BDay present, I walked outside and made the call. I explained the situation and a Ms. Williams said that she would call me back and would investigate. I figured she was just brushing me off. 5 minutes later she called me and was very apologetic about the mistake but when her visitation request was made, they entered "Brenda" McCullin and not Budda. I can see how that mistake was made. She then told me that Budda was approved and that it was just entered into the computer wrong.
I will say this, that during all that confusion and questioning, we were never treated with any disrespect. Everyone of those guards were very professional and really seemed to be deeply sorry that she could not come in.
It was very frustrating and we were both so disappointed, but the visit with Tanya made it all worthwhile, more on that in my next post.

Got a birthday card in the mail for both my wife and I from Tanya. She said how much she loved us and that she was looking forward to our visit. She has gotten into painting and is working on a picture for me and Budda for our birthdays. She also said that they would be serving lunch for all of us if we wanted on Friday, nutin better than alittle prison food, can't wait :).

No word lately

Haven't heard anything from Tanya in the last week or so. My family sent her a card and it got returned because I forgot to put a stamp on it, go figure.
Budda and I will make our second visit with Tanya this Friday, my Birthday, can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than visiting her on that day and spending the day with the bride. Hopefully this visit the camera will be fixed and we can all have our picture taken like the Rainwaters, my first visit the camera was not functional which dissapointed Tanya.
I've been wondering lately if reality has set in with Tanya yet, the reality of dying there at St. Gabriel prison. It's discouraging to me just to think about it, imagine how she must feel. It reminds me that there are always consequences for wrong decisions and that's a lesson we must all learn.
I will post again after our trip on Friday. Please be in prayer for us all, that God would continue to influence Tanya and draw her to Him.

For God so loved Tanya Smith, that He gave His one and only Son, that if Tanya Smith would believe in Him she would not perish, but would have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Ain't she purdy?

It's amazing the difference that feeling loved can make on a person. I look at these pictures and have to remind myself of the reality of what she has gone through over the past few years. Solitary confinement for so long, away from civilization for so long, not feeling the loving touch of family or friends for so long. Yet in the picture she smiles. Tanya smiles not for what has happened in the past, she smiles because of what is happening today. She is unconditionally loved by people, despite the horrible things she has done. She is beginning to understand agape love, not by reading about it but actually visualizing it in the lives of the Rainwaters through their concern for her.

God is using our friendship to teach me about love, to teach me how to love people that noone else will. People like Tanya. Inside her harsh exterior lies a beautiful woman in need of love and concern from others.

I am learning through this experience, that as a Christian, we do not get to choose who we love and when we love, we are simply to love.

Thank you God for teaching me to love.

"When you do it unto the least of these, my brethern, you do it unto me." (Matthew 25:40) People like Tanya are one of "the least of these". The church of today is more than willing to do it unto the "most" of these, reaching out to those who are successful, those who dress the right way, those who act appropriately. I am reminded that Christ died for the least not the most. Afterall, it was the "most" that beat Him and hung him on a cruel cross. I am also amazed at the thought that Christ came to this earth as "a least of these." Born in a filthy stable, laying not in a nice cradle, but a stinky feed trough.

Wake up church, we serve the God of the least.

Charlotte, Tanya, and Mark

The Rainwaters

We had a great meal with the Rainwaters tonight. They were on their way to St. Gabriel to see Tanya for a visit at 10:00 am tomorrow. I always enjoy being with them as they are very special people. I blame Mark getting us involved in this whole thing, but am very grateful to God that he did.
One of the things that I enjoy most about them is our common love for Tanya Smith. I have alot of close friends but I don't discuss my relationship with Tanya with them. So when we are with the Rainwaters we are able to open up and plan our next course of action, by the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
I shared with Mark and Charlotte about Tanya's fear of going into a sanctuary which she had already informed him of in her last letter. I also told them about her weight issue, so Mark and Charlotte will be prepared to encourage her about that tomorrow.
After the visit tomorrow Mark and I will speak by phone and he will offer some direction for my visit in two weeks based on what he saw and spoke about with Tanya.
Mark also had a 30 minute conversation by phone with Chap. Sumerall today. Mark is very impressed with him as I am, and knows that Chap. has a great heart and calling for what he does. Please continue to pray for Chap. not only for his ministry with Tanya but also his ministry with the other 1,000 women there.
God bless you!
Bill

I recieved a letter from Tanya yesterday whih was a relief. She seems to be doing good. She went into the sanctuary for the first time for a service and she said she had to get up and run out, she said she got scared. I wrote her back and told her how proud I was of her for trying and that in time her fear would go away.
The evil is about to lose one of his followers and is fighting with every ounce of fight he has left in him. I know that God will reign and Tanya will call Jesus, her Lord and Saviour. You will know when that happens, because you will hear hollering sand houting from Alexandria and Monroe.
Be in prayer for Mark and Charlotte as they visit with Tanya on Saturday. They are such awesome people and mean so much to Tanya. God used them to get this "ball" rolling and I am so blessed to be able to call them friends. I pray that they will be a source of encouragement and comfort for her.
I will post again on Saturday and will share of the visit with the Rainwaters.

Quiet on the Homefront

Have not heard anything from Tanya since I visited her. I always worry about her when a week or so goes by, worry that something has happened to her. Mark Rainter says I am over reacting and for once, he's probably right, ha
Mark and Charlotte will be driving to Baton Rouge Friday and will visit Tanya Saturday, their first visit since she has been in St. Gabriel. Tanya loves the Rainwaters so much, mainly because they were the first to love her and show her compassion. God has used them in a big, big way so far in the life of Tanya Smith.
I have been constantly reminded this week about the word "influence." I want to be a person of influence, I pray to be involved in changing the course of anothers life. We all influence people, either negatively or positively.
Wouldn't it be awesome to be that influence in another persons life, and then they become an influence upon anothers life, and so on? We could change this world.
Matthew 5:13, "You are the salt of the earth...."