I never realize how difficult it is to keep a blog up-to-date. Despite the fact that I haven't written anything in the last month doesn't mean that there's nothing to write, it just proves that I'm lazy.
We have visited Tanya a number of times since my last post, and to say the least she is doing well. There are some issues she is working through that I'm not at liberty to share here. She continues to attend church on Sunday mornings at the prison and seems to be enjoying it. I received a letter from her last week with another letter in to to me from one of her friends, she was really excited about the change that Tanya has made since becoming a Christian. Budda and I and the Rainwaters are so incredibly proud her and grateful for God allowing us to be a part of her life.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Birthday Girl
The 6th of August was Tanya's 27th Birthday so Budda and I met up with Mark and Charlotte at St. Gabriel and the 4 of us visited Tanya. She was so happy to see all of us there and it meant so much to her. We bought her a cinnamon roll and some M & M's and she put the M &M's all over the cinnamon roll acting as if they were candles.
Not only was she excited to see us but she was also excited to go to the Kairos retreat, which was to be the next day. I guess this is like a revival which last all day. She went to it last year and really got alot of it. I hope things went as well at this retreat.
Great news about college. She will begin taking college courses through the LSU system there at the prison. If I recall correctly, she'll take a Math and an English course.
Some of her friends made her a bracelet and another decorated some sunglasses for her birthday and they were to have a "party" that night in honor of her Birthday.
Budda and I loved being with Tanya, but being with Mark and Charlotte was also special. Since I'm not serving in the Monroe area, we don't get to see them as much as we'd like. They are such awesome people and we will cherish their friendship forever.
Not only was she excited to see us but she was also excited to go to the Kairos retreat, which was to be the next day. I guess this is like a revival which last all day. She went to it last year and really got alot of it. I hope things went as well at this retreat.
Great news about college. She will begin taking college courses through the LSU system there at the prison. If I recall correctly, she'll take a Math and an English course.
Some of her friends made her a bracelet and another decorated some sunglasses for her birthday and they were to have a "party" that night in honor of her Birthday.
Budda and I loved being with Tanya, but being with Mark and Charlotte was also special. Since I'm not serving in the Monroe area, we don't get to see them as much as we'd like. They are such awesome people and we will cherish their friendship forever.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
When we pulled up to the guard shack today in my son's car, we had forgotten to take out some bullets and shotgun shells he had in the car, needless to say that really didn't go over well. We had to leave and find a place to throw them away, but then they let us in upon our return.
Budda and I found Tanya doing really well and upbeat. She told us that she did not get into the Seminary there at St. Gabriel which is to begin in September. Thank you to New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary for beginning this same program as at Angola for the inmates. She was disappointed but knows that her time will come.
She shared with us how other inmates could tell the difference in her, that there was a "glow" to her, and wondered what had happened. She told them that she had accepted Christ.
Toward the end of our two hour visit Tanya said something that I will never forget, "I have lost everything I ever had, but am the riches that I have ever been, cause I now have family and a relationship with God." Needless to say, all 3 of sat and cried together, absolutely amazing.
Mark, Charlotte, Budda and I will be returning to the prison on August 6, to celebrate Tanya's 27 Birthday, she is so excited.
Be praying for Tanya, as August is the 3 year anniversary of the shooting which put Tanya where she is today. This is a very hard time for her and she really struggles.
Budda and I found Tanya doing really well and upbeat. She told us that she did not get into the Seminary there at St. Gabriel which is to begin in September. Thank you to New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary for beginning this same program as at Angola for the inmates. She was disappointed but knows that her time will come.
She shared with us how other inmates could tell the difference in her, that there was a "glow" to her, and wondered what had happened. She told them that she had accepted Christ.
Toward the end of our two hour visit Tanya said something that I will never forget, "I have lost everything I ever had, but am the riches that I have ever been, cause I now have family and a relationship with God." Needless to say, all 3 of sat and cried together, absolutely amazing.
Mark, Charlotte, Budda and I will be returning to the prison on August 6, to celebrate Tanya's 27 Birthday, she is so excited.
Be praying for Tanya, as August is the 3 year anniversary of the shooting which put Tanya where she is today. This is a very hard time for her and she really struggles.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Part II
Now that Tanya has become a Christian, our responsibility does not end there, God is in no way finished with incredible work. Her salvation is only a chapter in her book of life with many more chapters still to be written.
The only way for us to disciple her is through the mail. St. Gabriel has a new Chaplain, and I pray that Tanya will allow him to be a part of that process. We are currently working on her baptism, which she desires. The Rainwater's and Budda and I would love to be there when she is baptized but because of the strict rules of the prison that may not be possible.
I know that God would not lead her to this point and then stop opening doors for her. I also know that evil will do everything possible to pull her away from her decision to accept Christ. Join with me in praying that she will remain strong and committed to her Savior.
Budda and I are going to visit her this Friday followed by the Rainwater's visit on Saturday, so she will have a good weekend. Continue praying for us as we continue to follow the leadership of Christ.
The only way for us to disciple her is through the mail. St. Gabriel has a new Chaplain, and I pray that Tanya will allow him to be a part of that process. We are currently working on her baptism, which she desires. The Rainwater's and Budda and I would love to be there when she is baptized but because of the strict rules of the prison that may not be possible.
I know that God would not lead her to this point and then stop opening doors for her. I also know that evil will do everything possible to pull her away from her decision to accept Christ. Join with me in praying that she will remain strong and committed to her Savior.
Budda and I are going to visit her this Friday followed by the Rainwater's visit on Saturday, so she will have a good weekend. Continue praying for us as we continue to follow the leadership of Christ.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him
I again apologize for not posting anything lately but I had knee replacement on June 8 and the recovery has been difficult to say the least. I missed my visit with Tanya two weeks ago but thankfully the Rainwaters were able to go.
I got a letter from Tanya a couple of weeks ago and she was really down and frustrated. She found out that the Prison Chap. was sent to Angola to be a Chap. there. This really hurt her cause he was a bright spot in her life. The Rainwaters and I were very concerned about this and wondered what would happen concerning what God was doing in her life. Would she become angry and bitter? Well, no need to worry for God is in control.
So here is the amazing news! I woke up yesterday morning to head to St. Gabriel to see Tanya and honestly I almost backed out, I was in a good bit of pain from my Physical Therapy the day before but I knew she was excited to have company.
I finally got into the gym for the visit and I sensed such a peace in the room. There was probably 10 other inmates and their visitors at the tables, but it was unusually quiet. Something was different, very different. I wasn't sure what it was but I soon found out.
Tanya came in and gave me a big hug and we sat down and visited for a few minutes about my surgery and how she was making it. About 30 minutes into the visit she became somewhat distracted and looking elsewhere while we talked, this was not normal. I asked her if she was ok, and she said that she wanted to talk to me about something.
She shared with me some things from her past and the bad decisions she had made, and that despite all those things she has come to realize that God loves her and does indeed have a plan for her life. She told me that when the Rainwater's and I began to write her, she would get angry and cry when we made the comment that God had a plan for her life, she just couldn't believe it. We talked about all the ways that God had expressed His love for her, meeting the Rainwaters, constantly putting people in her path to help her. People like Chap. Sumerall and some of the Christian inmates that she has come to know.
She said that she had made so many bad decisions that it was time for her to make a good one. She has had this idea that becoming a Christian meant that she would be "perfect" which I explained to her that that was not the case. SHE told me about Moses, that he killed someone yet God used him, I told her about David, that despite his imperfections God stilled used him.
I looked at her and said, "Tanya, its time." She looked at me with a tear in her eye and said, "I know, I want to, I want to be a Christian, I want forgiveness, I want to be in heaven."
I reached across the table and took her hand, right there in a Maximum Security prison, Tanya Smith prayed to recieve Christ. She looked up at me with the biggest smile on her face and said, "I think you were shaking more than I was." We got a big laugh at that and then she made this comment, " I am a Christian now, I am saved, I will go to Heaven, right." I assured her of that fact but informed her that God still has alot of work to do in her life and that the McCullin's and the Rainwater's were going to walk with her all the way.
WOW! Absolutely awesome.
I will post Part 2 in the next couple of days.
Again, Praise Him!!!!!
I got a letter from Tanya a couple of weeks ago and she was really down and frustrated. She found out that the Prison Chap. was sent to Angola to be a Chap. there. This really hurt her cause he was a bright spot in her life. The Rainwaters and I were very concerned about this and wondered what would happen concerning what God was doing in her life. Would she become angry and bitter? Well, no need to worry for God is in control.
So here is the amazing news! I woke up yesterday morning to head to St. Gabriel to see Tanya and honestly I almost backed out, I was in a good bit of pain from my Physical Therapy the day before but I knew she was excited to have company.
I finally got into the gym for the visit and I sensed such a peace in the room. There was probably 10 other inmates and their visitors at the tables, but it was unusually quiet. Something was different, very different. I wasn't sure what it was but I soon found out.
Tanya came in and gave me a big hug and we sat down and visited for a few minutes about my surgery and how she was making it. About 30 minutes into the visit she became somewhat distracted and looking elsewhere while we talked, this was not normal. I asked her if she was ok, and she said that she wanted to talk to me about something.
She shared with me some things from her past and the bad decisions she had made, and that despite all those things she has come to realize that God loves her and does indeed have a plan for her life. She told me that when the Rainwater's and I began to write her, she would get angry and cry when we made the comment that God had a plan for her life, she just couldn't believe it. We talked about all the ways that God had expressed His love for her, meeting the Rainwaters, constantly putting people in her path to help her. People like Chap. Sumerall and some of the Christian inmates that she has come to know.
She said that she had made so many bad decisions that it was time for her to make a good one. She has had this idea that becoming a Christian meant that she would be "perfect" which I explained to her that that was not the case. SHE told me about Moses, that he killed someone yet God used him, I told her about David, that despite his imperfections God stilled used him.
I looked at her and said, "Tanya, its time." She looked at me with a tear in her eye and said, "I know, I want to, I want to be a Christian, I want forgiveness, I want to be in heaven."
I reached across the table and took her hand, right there in a Maximum Security prison, Tanya Smith prayed to recieve Christ. She looked up at me with the biggest smile on her face and said, "I think you were shaking more than I was." We got a big laugh at that and then she made this comment, " I am a Christian now, I am saved, I will go to Heaven, right." I assured her of that fact but informed her that God still has alot of work to do in her life and that the McCullin's and the Rainwater's were going to walk with her all the way.
WOW! Absolutely awesome.
I will post Part 2 in the next couple of days.
Again, Praise Him!!!!!
Friday, May 28, 2010
So good to see her smiling
After my last visit with Tanya I was somewhat discouraged and really worried about her (see my last post for details), today she was a totally different person. Today was the first time she got to meet with Budda which really excited her. It was so cool to see them hug each other like they had known each other for years.
She went to church the past Sunday and stayed for the whole service which is a miracle itself. To be honest, Tanya talked for a solid two hours and Budda and I just sat and listened. Tanya has no really meaningful converstation about the us and the Rainwaters and she really takes off, haha.
I would have never dreamed that someone like Tanya would come into my life and change me as much as she has. Let me rephrase that, change that was brought about by God through Tanya. Little did she know, she would be used in all our lives to teach us to love the unlovable.
I am having a knee transplant on June 8, so I will not be able to see her for a month or so, which is disappointing, she is such a breath of fresh air for me and my ministry.
I hope you enjoy the picture taken this afternoon of the three of us, can you see the pride in our eyes.
WOW! God is so good.
She went to church the past Sunday and stayed for the whole service which is a miracle itself. To be honest, Tanya talked for a solid two hours and Budda and I just sat and listened. Tanya has no really meaningful converstation about the us and the Rainwaters and she really takes off, haha.
I would have never dreamed that someone like Tanya would come into my life and change me as much as she has. Let me rephrase that, change that was brought about by God through Tanya. Little did she know, she would be used in all our lives to teach us to love the unlovable.
I am having a knee transplant on June 8, so I will not be able to see her for a month or so, which is disappointing, she is such a breath of fresh air for me and my ministry.
I hope you enjoy the picture taken this afternoon of the three of us, can you see the pride in our eyes.
WOW! God is so good.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The past
I spent the weekend in ministry at Angola at the prison revival that the Louisiana Baptist Convention holds each year, which is one of my favorite places to be and to minister.
On Saturday we had lunch in the cafeteria with all the prisoners and I had the opportunity to eat a meal with the Inmate Chaplain by the name of Steven. He's been in Angola for 25 years and only had 90 days left. While he has been in Angola he received his 4 year Seminary degree from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.
The reason for my mentioning him is that I shared with him about Tanya's experience and her sentence. He told me that Tanya is the type of person that is going to change the world, and that her story would lead many people to Christ.
I told him of a concern that I have about Tanya. Tanya has racist tattoos all over her body including her legs. Since it has been hot and this being her first summer to get to be in general population, she has been wearing shorts and some people have asked about those "tats". She has commented about it several times to me, that she is no longer like that and that some don't understand that.
Back to Stephen, i asked him about the tat issue with Tanya, and he said that she couldn't change what she was but God can change what she is to become. He also stated that one day she will look at her tats and be thankful for how far God has brought her.
Budda and I will be going to see her again this Friday. Please pray for her, please, please, pray for her.
On Saturday we had lunch in the cafeteria with all the prisoners and I had the opportunity to eat a meal with the Inmate Chaplain by the name of Steven. He's been in Angola for 25 years and only had 90 days left. While he has been in Angola he received his 4 year Seminary degree from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary.
The reason for my mentioning him is that I shared with him about Tanya's experience and her sentence. He told me that Tanya is the type of person that is going to change the world, and that her story would lead many people to Christ.
I told him of a concern that I have about Tanya. Tanya has racist tattoos all over her body including her legs. Since it has been hot and this being her first summer to get to be in general population, she has been wearing shorts and some people have asked about those "tats". She has commented about it several times to me, that she is no longer like that and that some don't understand that.
Back to Stephen, i asked him about the tat issue with Tanya, and he said that she couldn't change what she was but God can change what she is to become. He also stated that one day she will look at her tats and be thankful for how far God has brought her.
Budda and I will be going to see her again this Friday. Please pray for her, please, please, pray for her.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The end times
I got another letter from Tanya yesterday that my wife read to me over the phone. Tanya has been going through a really tough time lately, struggling between doing what is right, and what is wrong. She reported another inmate for something that she was doing to Tanya and now Tanya is known as a liar and snitch, not a good title to carry in the prison system. She really seemed down in the letter and said that we would discuss it more at our visit tomorrow.
Here's some really good news. She has been reading the book of Revelation lately and is really confused. The reason this is good news is because it opens the door wide open to share about salvation, in that if you have a relationship with Christ, the end times are nothing to worry about.
It amazes me, frustrates would be a better word, to hear people reading and deliberating about the end times and what all that means, when they don't understand a relationship with Christ. People need to spend their time and devotion to having a deeper walk with Christ before they take on end times.
Please be praying for me tomorrow. I am really going to go into spiritual depths that Tanya and I have never been before, pray that I will be clear ad concise and that she will have an open heart to the gospel. Most importantly pray that God's will be done.
Here's some really good news. She has been reading the book of Revelation lately and is really confused. The reason this is good news is because it opens the door wide open to share about salvation, in that if you have a relationship with Christ, the end times are nothing to worry about.
It amazes me, frustrates would be a better word, to hear people reading and deliberating about the end times and what all that means, when they don't understand a relationship with Christ. People need to spend their time and devotion to having a deeper walk with Christ before they take on end times.
Please be praying for me tomorrow. I am really going to go into spiritual depths that Tanya and I have never been before, pray that I will be clear ad concise and that she will have an open heart to the gospel. Most importantly pray that God's will be done.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Yesterday's visit
The visit with Tanya yesterday went really well. When she came in and saw Mark and I together, she burst out with excitement, clapping her hands and ran to hug us, it seemed to really make her day.
Tanya still has not accepted Christ as her Saviour but she has accepted the fact that Christ is real. She's really thinking all this through and will not make a harsh decision, she said she wants to make the decision for her and only for her. I am so proud of her. I wish everyone that accepted Christ would sit back and weigh that decision, realizing the price one has to pay in proclaiming Christ as Lord. Is she saved? NO....is she being saved? YES.
She asked me if I would baptize her when that decision was made which brought tears to my eyes, although I'm not sure if the prison officials will allow me to do that. WOW, what an honor that would be.
Mark, Tanya and I visited for the entire two hours, which including all of holding hands and praying together. We discuss some very personal things which I do no have the liberty to share here.
I am asking everyone to commit to praying for Tanya everyday at 3:00 pm. pray is what will lead her across the line into the arms of Christ. please intercede for her, please stand in the gap for her.
I heard someone say a couple of weeks ago, that when God continues to put someone on your heart to pray for, He intends to answer that prayer. Well, Tanya has been on our hearts for over a year now and I know He intends to answer our prayer that she will get saved. It must be done on Gods timing and not our own.
To God be the glory.
Tanya still has not accepted Christ as her Saviour but she has accepted the fact that Christ is real. She's really thinking all this through and will not make a harsh decision, she said she wants to make the decision for her and only for her. I am so proud of her. I wish everyone that accepted Christ would sit back and weigh that decision, realizing the price one has to pay in proclaiming Christ as Lord. Is she saved? NO....is she being saved? YES.
She asked me if I would baptize her when that decision was made which brought tears to my eyes, although I'm not sure if the prison officials will allow me to do that. WOW, what an honor that would be.
Mark, Tanya and I visited for the entire two hours, which including all of holding hands and praying together. We discuss some very personal things which I do no have the liberty to share here.
I am asking everyone to commit to praying for Tanya everyday at 3:00 pm. pray is what will lead her across the line into the arms of Christ. please intercede for her, please stand in the gap for her.
I heard someone say a couple of weeks ago, that when God continues to put someone on your heart to pray for, He intends to answer that prayer. Well, Tanya has been on our hearts for over a year now and I know He intends to answer our prayer that she will get saved. It must be done on Gods timing and not our own.
To God be the glory.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Great news....I think
Got a letter from Tanya today that was very interesting. Interesting in that she commented that she went to the Kairos weekend and that it was a very "emotional time" and that she had so much to share. Mark and Charlotte were scheduled to visit with her on Saturday but that visitation day got cancelled for some reason. She wrote that she wished that the Rainwaters could come when I go Friday because she wants to share some things while we are all together. I called Mark and he will meet me there at 11 am on Friday, unfortunantly, Charlotte can't go.
What does she want to tell us? I have no idea, but I hope she looks across that table at us and says, "Jesus Christ in now the Lord of my life."
I will not be able to sleep over the next couple of nights out of excitement and anticipation of Friday.
I will write another post when I get home Friday PM so check back, or, if you hear someone shout "GLORY" you'll know what happened.
To God be the glory, great things He has done.
What does she want to tell us? I have no idea, but I hope she looks across that table at us and says, "Jesus Christ in now the Lord of my life."
I will not be able to sleep over the next couple of nights out of excitement and anticipation of Friday.
I will write another post when I get home Friday PM so check back, or, if you hear someone shout "GLORY" you'll know what happened.
To God be the glory, great things He has done.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Excited about Friday
I will be going to see Tanya again this Friday. We are all very curious as to what happened at the Kairos weekend she went to. can't wait to hear all about it and if she was able to stay in the sanctuary or if she had another "panic attack" and left. You will hear me shout from St. Gabriel if she tells me she accepted Christ.
God has gifted Tanya with some awesome friends in prison that are trying to include her and are sharing Christ with her. Despite what she was a part of in Bastrop, she is still loved by the almighty God.
I will post again Friday when I get back to Alexandria.
God has gifted Tanya with some awesome friends in prison that are trying to include her and are sharing Christ with her. Despite what she was a part of in Bastrop, she is still loved by the almighty God.
I will post again Friday when I get back to Alexandria.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Today begins the Kairos retreat at St. Gabriel Prison. I'm really sure what group this is that is putting it on but it is an "invitation only" type of thing and Tanya was invited. She has been so nervous about because of having to sit in a church which still makes her alittle uncomfortable. Please join us all in praying that this will be the weekend that brings her to Christ.
I will be going back to the prison to visit Tanya one week from today and then Mark and Charlotte will go back a week from tomorrow. I can't wait for her to tell me all about the retreat and what she thought. I am praying so hard that it will be an awesome weekend for her, please pray.
I will be going back to the prison to visit Tanya one week from today and then Mark and Charlotte will go back a week from tomorrow. I can't wait for her to tell me all about the retreat and what she thought. I am praying so hard that it will be an awesome weekend for her, please pray.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Amazing piece of art
The picture that you see here was painted by Tanya as a birthday present to me. She has never painted anything in her life, this is her first one. That's right, Tanya the Odenists, the racist, the cop killer, the meth addict, painted a picture of Christ hanging on the cross. When I go see her in a couple of weeks, I want to ask her what she was thinking as she painted this scene, was she thinking of Jesus, of His death for her, was she thinking about His sacrificial love?
I'm studying this picture as I type this entry and I really have no words to say. let the painting speak for itself.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Awesome visit with Tanya (Part 2)
I had about 10 minutes to myself as I waited on a guard to come to escort me back for the visit, enough time to recollect my thoughts after Budda being sent away. I stood there against a wall praying that God would intervene.
I sat at the table for another 5 minutes and she came in and immediately saw me and her big smile faded as she realized that Budda wasn't with me. After giving me a big hug she asked what had happened and why she wasn't there, I explained and she was heart broken. She felt that in some way it was her fault and was so apologetic. She stated that she even had the copy of the form with her name on it and that she had already been cleared.
As we sat there visiting, I noticed quite a change in Tanya. Her outlook on things were really different, her disposition was different, she was so full of joy. I was amazed and as we visited I realized that God was working so hard in her life and she was beginning to understand that God truly loves her and has a plan and a purpose for her life.
God has placed another "lifer" in her life. A very devoted Christian woman by the name of "Princess" . Princess has taken Tanya under her wings and God is really using her to reach Tanya. She told me about Princess and another prisoner, along with Tanya, going out on the "yard" and each brought their Bibles and they read from the book of John together. This other prisoner even made Tanya a necklace with a cross on it and Tanya is wearing it in the prison. She said crosses used to spook her, but not now. :)
Tanya told me about two words that she has been learning, grace and mercy. She said that when she came out of that hotel room she should have been shot but God had mercy on her and allowed her to live, and now she is realizing that God does indeed love her. Princess told Tanya, "Girl, God danced the day you were born." She loved to hear that and it meant so much to her.
There are still some issues, some confusion, that she is working on, before she becomes a Christian, which I won't go into detail about out of respect for her. I can say that she doesn't want to make this decision for everybody, that she wants to make it for herself, I told her how proud we are of her and that so many people on the "outside" are praying for her.
Tanya is a different person, she is being drawn into a relationship with the Almighty God, the Father of Jesus. It is so amazing to watch the transformation in one life, to God be the glory.
Our visit ended but before I left we held hands and prayed. She squeezed the blood out of my hands. I gave her a big hug and walked out of the door, simply amazed.
On our ride home from Baton Rouge I sat very quiet, just thinking about her and where God had brought us, the Rainwaters and Tanya.
Remember that this visit took place on my 48th birthday, and as we made our way home the realization hit me that in my 48 years of life, Tanya is the first person that I have ever really and truly invested so much into for God. My spirit was crushed and I was convicted. Yes I preached, went to the hospitals to visit the sick and pastored churches but never have I given so much of myself to the betterment of " the least of these." How many lives could have been changed, if my mind would have been on them instead of myself? How many opportunities did I miss making the difference in another life, because I didn't have the time? How many lives could have been changed, had I only been willing, willing to be used by God?
As I drove, I thanked God for the opportunity to be such a big part in Tanya's life and that I was more than willing to never miss another opportunity. Tanya may be the first, but she will not be the last. I just want to be used.
I conclude with the words of King Nebuchadnezzar, "Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the kings command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any God except their own God." (Daniel 3:28)
May the same words be said of us!!!!!!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Another awesome visit with Tanya (Part One)
Budda and I left around 8 am hoping to get to the prison time to have lunch with Tanya. We ended up getting there at around 11am and pulled up to the gate and were greeted by the same 2 guards that "welcomed" me 1 month ago. We parked and walked to the entrance. We were both very excited about seeing Tanya again, of course Budda still had not met her, which only added to the excitement. I was thrilled to have Budda with me for I feel alittle uncomfortable being there by myself without my wife.
We walked through the door and pulled out our drivers license and I handed mine to the guard first. She looked it up in the computer and gave me a nod of approval. She then took Buddas and I could tell by the face on that guard that something wasn't right. She informed us that Budda had not been approved for our visit and that she needed to leave the premises. Here she was in a community she had never been in, being told she would not be allowed in. I was going to just turn around and go with her but she insisted she would be alright and told me to go ahead and visit Tanya and that she would pick me up at 1:00 pm.
I pleaded with the guard and told her that I knew she had been approved and that Asst. Warden Kennedy called me personally to tell me that. She said that Kennedy was there and she would go and ask her. She came back a few minutes later and informed us that Budda has not been approved and that she must leave. There had to be a mistake.
I went on in somewhat angry having to leave my wife behind, but knew not to argue with prison staff being that it was very important for us, Tanya, and the Rainwaters to get to come back in the future.
In my post tomorrow I will share about the actual visit with Tanya. We visited for two hours and on my way out I asked the guard at the desk who I could call about this problem. She gave me the name and number. I walked from the building out to the guard shack, and again the guard said that I could not stand there and wait for Budda but that I could walked across the road, off prison grounds and wait for her.
She was waiting on me in another parking lot and we proceeded to go to the Tanger Factory Outlet. While she shopped for her BDay present, I walked outside and made the call. I explained the situation and a Ms. Williams said that she would call me back and would investigate. I figured she was just brushing me off. 5 minutes later she called me and was very apologetic about the mistake but when her visitation request was made, they entered "Brenda" McCullin and not Budda. I can see how that mistake was made. She then told me that Budda was approved and that it was just entered into the computer wrong.
I will say this, that during all that confusion and questioning, we were never treated with any disrespect. Everyone of those guards were very professional and really seemed to be deeply sorry that she could not come in.
It was very frustrating and we were both so disappointed, but the visit with Tanya made it all worthwhile, more on that in my next post.
We walked through the door and pulled out our drivers license and I handed mine to the guard first. She looked it up in the computer and gave me a nod of approval. She then took Buddas and I could tell by the face on that guard that something wasn't right. She informed us that Budda had not been approved for our visit and that she needed to leave the premises. Here she was in a community she had never been in, being told she would not be allowed in. I was going to just turn around and go with her but she insisted she would be alright and told me to go ahead and visit Tanya and that she would pick me up at 1:00 pm.
I pleaded with the guard and told her that I knew she had been approved and that Asst. Warden Kennedy called me personally to tell me that. She said that Kennedy was there and she would go and ask her. She came back a few minutes later and informed us that Budda has not been approved and that she must leave. There had to be a mistake.
I went on in somewhat angry having to leave my wife behind, but knew not to argue with prison staff being that it was very important for us, Tanya, and the Rainwaters to get to come back in the future.
In my post tomorrow I will share about the actual visit with Tanya. We visited for two hours and on my way out I asked the guard at the desk who I could call about this problem. She gave me the name and number. I walked from the building out to the guard shack, and again the guard said that I could not stand there and wait for Budda but that I could walked across the road, off prison grounds and wait for her.
She was waiting on me in another parking lot and we proceeded to go to the Tanger Factory Outlet. While she shopped for her BDay present, I walked outside and made the call. I explained the situation and a Ms. Williams said that she would call me back and would investigate. I figured she was just brushing me off. 5 minutes later she called me and was very apologetic about the mistake but when her visitation request was made, they entered "Brenda" McCullin and not Budda. I can see how that mistake was made. She then told me that Budda was approved and that it was just entered into the computer wrong.
I will say this, that during all that confusion and questioning, we were never treated with any disrespect. Everyone of those guards were very professional and really seemed to be deeply sorry that she could not come in.
It was very frustrating and we were both so disappointed, but the visit with Tanya made it all worthwhile, more on that in my next post.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Got a birthday card in the mail for both my wife and I from Tanya. She said how much she loved us and that she was looking forward to our visit. She has gotten into painting and is working on a picture for me and Budda for our birthdays. She also said that they would be serving lunch for all of us if we wanted on Friday, nutin better than alittle prison food, can't wait :).
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
No word lately
Haven't heard anything from Tanya in the last week or so. My family sent her a card and it got returned because I forgot to put a stamp on it, go figure.
Budda and I will make our second visit with Tanya this Friday, my Birthday, can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than visiting her on that day and spending the day with the bride. Hopefully this visit the camera will be fixed and we can all have our picture taken like the Rainwaters, my first visit the camera was not functional which dissapointed Tanya.
I've been wondering lately if reality has set in with Tanya yet, the reality of dying there at St. Gabriel prison. It's discouraging to me just to think about it, imagine how she must feel. It reminds me that there are always consequences for wrong decisions and that's a lesson we must all learn.
I will post again after our trip on Friday. Please be in prayer for us all, that God would continue to influence Tanya and draw her to Him.
For God so loved Tanya Smith, that He gave His one and only Son, that if Tanya Smith would believe in Him she would not perish, but would have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
Budda and I will make our second visit with Tanya this Friday, my Birthday, can't think of anywhere I'd rather be than visiting her on that day and spending the day with the bride. Hopefully this visit the camera will be fixed and we can all have our picture taken like the Rainwaters, my first visit the camera was not functional which dissapointed Tanya.
I've been wondering lately if reality has set in with Tanya yet, the reality of dying there at St. Gabriel prison. It's discouraging to me just to think about it, imagine how she must feel. It reminds me that there are always consequences for wrong decisions and that's a lesson we must all learn.
I will post again after our trip on Friday. Please be in prayer for us all, that God would continue to influence Tanya and draw her to Him.
For God so loved Tanya Smith, that He gave His one and only Son, that if Tanya Smith would believe in Him she would not perish, but would have everlasting life. (John 3:16)
Monday, March 8, 2010
Ain't she purdy?
It's amazing the difference that feeling loved can make on a person. I look at these pictures and have to remind myself of the reality of what she has gone through over the past few years. Solitary confinement for so long, away from civilization for so long, not feeling the loving touch of family or friends for so long. Yet in the picture she smiles. Tanya smiles not for what has happened in the past, she smiles because of what is happening today. She is unconditionally loved by people, despite the horrible things she has done. She is beginning to understand agape love, not by reading about it but actually visualizing it in the lives of the Rainwaters through their concern for her.
God is using our friendship to teach me about love, to teach me how to love people that noone else will. People like Tanya. Inside her harsh exterior lies a beautiful woman in need of love and concern from others.
I am learning through this experience, that as a Christian, we do not get to choose who we love and when we love, we are simply to love.
Thank you God for teaching me to love.
"When you do it unto the least of these, my brethern, you do it unto me." (Matthew 25:40) People like Tanya are one of "the least of these". The church of today is more than willing to do it unto the "most" of these, reaching out to those who are successful, those who dress the right way, those who act appropriately. I am reminded that Christ died for the least not the most. Afterall, it was the "most" that beat Him and hung him on a cruel cross. I am also amazed at the thought that Christ came to this earth as "a least of these." Born in a filthy stable, laying not in a nice cradle, but a stinky feed trough.
Wake up church, we serve the God of the least.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
The Rainwaters
We had a great meal with the Rainwaters tonight. They were on their way to St. Gabriel to see Tanya for a visit at 10:00 am tomorrow. I always enjoy being with them as they are very special people. I blame Mark getting us involved in this whole thing, but am very grateful to God that he did.
One of the things that I enjoy most about them is our common love for Tanya Smith. I have alot of close friends but I don't discuss my relationship with Tanya with them. So when we are with the Rainwaters we are able to open up and plan our next course of action, by the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
I shared with Mark and Charlotte about Tanya's fear of going into a sanctuary which she had already informed him of in her last letter. I also told them about her weight issue, so Mark and Charlotte will be prepared to encourage her about that tomorrow.
After the visit tomorrow Mark and I will speak by phone and he will offer some direction for my visit in two weeks based on what he saw and spoke about with Tanya.
Mark also had a 30 minute conversation by phone with Chap. Sumerall today. Mark is very impressed with him as I am, and knows that Chap. has a great heart and calling for what he does. Please continue to pray for Chap. not only for his ministry with Tanya but also his ministry with the other 1,000 women there.
God bless you!
Bill
One of the things that I enjoy most about them is our common love for Tanya Smith. I have alot of close friends but I don't discuss my relationship with Tanya with them. So when we are with the Rainwaters we are able to open up and plan our next course of action, by the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
I shared with Mark and Charlotte about Tanya's fear of going into a sanctuary which she had already informed him of in her last letter. I also told them about her weight issue, so Mark and Charlotte will be prepared to encourage her about that tomorrow.
After the visit tomorrow Mark and I will speak by phone and he will offer some direction for my visit in two weeks based on what he saw and spoke about with Tanya.
Mark also had a 30 minute conversation by phone with Chap. Sumerall today. Mark is very impressed with him as I am, and knows that Chap. has a great heart and calling for what he does. Please continue to pray for Chap. not only for his ministry with Tanya but also his ministry with the other 1,000 women there.
God bless you!
Bill
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I recieved a letter from Tanya yesterday whih was a relief. She seems to be doing good. She went into the sanctuary for the first time for a service and she said she had to get up and run out, she said she got scared. I wrote her back and told her how proud I was of her for trying and that in time her fear would go away.
The evil is about to lose one of his followers and is fighting with every ounce of fight he has left in him. I know that God will reign and Tanya will call Jesus, her Lord and Saviour. You will know when that happens, because you will hear hollering sand houting from Alexandria and Monroe.
Be in prayer for Mark and Charlotte as they visit with Tanya on Saturday. They are such awesome people and mean so much to Tanya. God used them to get this "ball" rolling and I am so blessed to be able to call them friends. I pray that they will be a source of encouragement and comfort for her.
I will post again on Saturday and will share of the visit with the Rainwaters.
The evil is about to lose one of his followers and is fighting with every ounce of fight he has left in him. I know that God will reign and Tanya will call Jesus, her Lord and Saviour. You will know when that happens, because you will hear hollering sand houting from Alexandria and Monroe.
Be in prayer for Mark and Charlotte as they visit with Tanya on Saturday. They are such awesome people and mean so much to Tanya. God used them to get this "ball" rolling and I am so blessed to be able to call them friends. I pray that they will be a source of encouragement and comfort for her.
I will post again on Saturday and will share of the visit with the Rainwaters.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Quiet on the Homefront
Have not heard anything from Tanya since I visited her. I always worry about her when a week or so goes by, worry that something has happened to her. Mark Rainter says I am over reacting and for once, he's probably right, ha
Mark and Charlotte will be driving to Baton Rouge Friday and will visit Tanya Saturday, their first visit since she has been in St. Gabriel. Tanya loves the Rainwaters so much, mainly because they were the first to love her and show her compassion. God has used them in a big, big way so far in the life of Tanya Smith.
I have been constantly reminded this week about the word "influence." I want to be a person of influence, I pray to be involved in changing the course of anothers life. We all influence people, either negatively or positively.
Wouldn't it be awesome to be that influence in another persons life, and then they become an influence upon anothers life, and so on? We could change this world.
Matthew 5:13, "You are the salt of the earth...."
Mark and Charlotte will be driving to Baton Rouge Friday and will visit Tanya Saturday, their first visit since she has been in St. Gabriel. Tanya loves the Rainwaters so much, mainly because they were the first to love her and show her compassion. God has used them in a big, big way so far in the life of Tanya Smith.
I have been constantly reminded this week about the word "influence." I want to be a person of influence, I pray to be involved in changing the course of anothers life. We all influence people, either negatively or positively.
Wouldn't it be awesome to be that influence in another persons life, and then they become an influence upon anothers life, and so on? We could change this world.
Matthew 5:13, "You are the salt of the earth...."
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Our first visit
When I got word from the Warden that I could come and visit Tanya, I thought about ways that I could get word to her that I was coming today, but could not and what a surprise it was for her. She said that when they came to get her she thought they had the wrong person because she had not had a single visitor since she had been at St. Gabriel (one year in April).
The only pictures that I had seen of her were the ones on the Gangland Series on the History Channel. I figured that almost three years in solitary would have ad adverse affect upon someone. But when she walked in the door I knew right off it was her. She recognized me from a picture of my family that I had sent to her.
I was blown away that she appeared so young, of course she is only 26 years old, but seeing her really opened my eyes to that fact. She was dressed in prison blue shirt and blue jeans, and had the biggest smile on her face.
Only 10 minutes into our conversation she began telling me her tragic life story, abuse as a child, addiction to meth and pot, one bad decision after another. She really never had a chance in life.
She began to cry when talking about her love for Dennis Clem despite how badly he treated her sometimes. Tanya has never really experienced real love before from anyone, so I am not sure she would recognize it.
We had a long discussion of what "agape love" was which she heard about this last week. I explained it to her. I noticed that when she asked questions, she really wanted an answer, she would turn her head and look right at me waiting for an answer. Friends, Tanya Smith is really seeking.
She can only have visitors every other weekend so mark and Charlotte will go two weeks from today and then we will alternate from there.
Please continue to pray that God will help Tanya to see truth, and to see His love for her, that agape love.
In closing, Tanya said several times in sentences that, "when I become a Christian.....", it is going to happen, God has not brought her this far only to desert her.
I'm beginning to wonder if her jail sentence will turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her!!!
The only pictures that I had seen of her were the ones on the Gangland Series on the History Channel. I figured that almost three years in solitary would have ad adverse affect upon someone. But when she walked in the door I knew right off it was her. She recognized me from a picture of my family that I had sent to her.
I was blown away that she appeared so young, of course she is only 26 years old, but seeing her really opened my eyes to that fact. She was dressed in prison blue shirt and blue jeans, and had the biggest smile on her face.
Only 10 minutes into our conversation she began telling me her tragic life story, abuse as a child, addiction to meth and pot, one bad decision after another. She really never had a chance in life.
She began to cry when talking about her love for Dennis Clem despite how badly he treated her sometimes. Tanya has never really experienced real love before from anyone, so I am not sure she would recognize it.
We had a long discussion of what "agape love" was which she heard about this last week. I explained it to her. I noticed that when she asked questions, she really wanted an answer, she would turn her head and look right at me waiting for an answer. Friends, Tanya Smith is really seeking.
She can only have visitors every other weekend so mark and Charlotte will go two weeks from today and then we will alternate from there.
Please continue to pray that God will help Tanya to see truth, and to see His love for her, that agape love.
In closing, Tanya said several times in sentences that, "when I become a Christian.....", it is going to happen, God has not brought her this far only to desert her.
I'm beginning to wonder if her jail sentence will turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to her!!!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Approved for Visitation
I got a call from Asst. Warden Kennedy yesterday and she informed me that we are cleard to visit and that this weekend is Tanya's weekend for guest. She gets visits every other weekend. If I don't go tomorrow, it will be another two months before I can go again due to Tennis season.
I am really excited about going but alittle nervous at the same time. This will be my first time to meet her in person. If I'm not mistaken, we get 2 hours to visit but I pray that the visit will be productive.
Mark and Charlotte also were approved and we are planning to go on alternating weekends where Tanya will have one of us at each visitation time. Please be in prayer for us tomorrow, adn I will post more about the visit tomorrow night.
I am really excited about going but alittle nervous at the same time. This will be my first time to meet her in person. If I'm not mistaken, we get 2 hours to visit but I pray that the visit will be productive.
Mark and Charlotte also were approved and we are planning to go on alternating weekends where Tanya will have one of us at each visitation time. Please be in prayer for us tomorrow, adn I will post more about the visit tomorrow night.
Monday, February 15, 2010
While at work today I noticed I had a missed call from Chap. Sumerall at the prison. When I called him back, we had a great discussion about ministry and the status of our visitation forms which still have not been approved. He suggested I call Asst. Warden Kennedy and discuss this with her. I called her and shared with her the story and she said she would check on it, which we had heard before from numerous people at the prison. Chap. said that Tanya would be in his office this afternoon and that he would let her call.
Sure enough, a couple of hours later she called again. She seemed really anxious and nervous. She stated that she had lost alot of weight which was concerning those close to her there. It was good to hear that she has made a good friend in Chap. Sumerall.
The Chaplain got back on the phone and told me that Asst. Warden Kennedy had already been into his office today and that things were going to start moving along now, he realizes how important it is for Tanya's well being that we be allowed to visit.
Please continue to pray that the doors will open for our visitation and that God will continue to nurture this friendship with Chaplain Sumerall. Pray that God will remove her anxiety about going to worship there at the chapel at the prison.
Thanks again for your support and continued prayers.
Sure enough, a couple of hours later she called again. She seemed really anxious and nervous. She stated that she had lost alot of weight which was concerning those close to her there. It was good to hear that she has made a good friend in Chap. Sumerall.
The Chaplain got back on the phone and told me that Asst. Warden Kennedy had already been into his office today and that things were going to start moving along now, he realizes how important it is for Tanya's well being that we be allowed to visit.
Please continue to pray that the doors will open for our visitation and that God will continue to nurture this friendship with Chaplain Sumerall. Pray that God will remove her anxiety about going to worship there at the chapel at the prison.
Thanks again for your support and continued prayers.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Amazing Phone Call
What an exciting day this has been. I was sitting in my office at FBC Vidalia today visiting with my son when my cell phone rang. A man on the other end identified himself as Chap. Summerall at the St. Gabriel prison. He informed me that they had received our forms for visitation and that we should be hearing something soon. He then told me that Tanya was sitting there with him and asked if I would like to speak with her. I told him that I would love to.
This was the first time I had ever heard her voice. I was amazed at the calmness in her voice. She proceeded to tell me all about the "retreat" that she had been invited to at the prison. Also, she said that Chap. Sumerall, had a new guitar in his office, which to my suprise, she plays. It meant alot to her to be able to hold one and play again. Needless to say, I was amazed.
She also told me that she was still having a tough time being around other people which I told her was probably normal being that she had been in the "hole" almost three years, away from everyone.
Please continue to pray that Tanya will be receptive to the gospel, and pray that this retreat will be life changing for her. Great things are going to happen, I just have that feeling!!!! To God be the glory.
This was the first time I had ever heard her voice. I was amazed at the calmness in her voice. She proceeded to tell me all about the "retreat" that she had been invited to at the prison. Also, she said that Chap. Sumerall, had a new guitar in his office, which to my suprise, she plays. It meant alot to her to be able to hold one and play again. Needless to say, I was amazed.
She also told me that she was still having a tough time being around other people which I told her was probably normal being that she had been in the "hole" almost three years, away from everyone.
Please continue to pray that Tanya will be receptive to the gospel, and pray that this retreat will be life changing for her. Great things are going to happen, I just have that feeling!!!! To God be the glory.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Hey friends, been quiet lately. We went about 3 weeks without hearing from Tanya which had us all alittle concerned. I finally got another letter yesterday which was very encouraging.
As you know, Tanya has been in "the hole" since she was arrested almost three years ago. Didnot see the light of day with the exception of 30 minutes a day spent outside in a cage, a literal cage. She told me in her letter yesterday that she has finally been put into general population which she was thrilled about. Having alittle freedom means alot to her.
We have been praying since Sept. 09 that the Rainwaters and my family be approved to go to St. Gabriel to visit Tanya, we went month after month not hearing a word as to whether or not we were approved. After many phone calls from a number of people, we found out that they lost our applications and that we need to reapply. So, the applications are in the mail back to the prison so hopefully this time will be fruitful. What that a blessing that will be for us but most importantly for her.
Another answered pray.....The Chaplain at St. Gabriel is a strong Christian man that according to Tanya looks like St. Nic. After my email and some phone calls from Rev. Johnny Miller (Mark's pastor in Monroe) he has been to visit Tanya numerous times and has been such a blessing to her. He even invited her to a "retreat" held there at the prison. This retreat is by invitation only and they go to another section of the prison, they bring in home cooked food and have Bible Studies. I was so happy to hear that Tanya was going to go. Remember, she has not made that committment to Christ, please pray that she will during this retreat in Feb.
I am so amazed by God. Not only because of what He is doing in my life but in Tanya's. Isn't it amazing that God loves us not because He has to, but because He wants to. Thank you God for loving me.
As you know, Tanya has been in "the hole" since she was arrested almost three years ago. Didnot see the light of day with the exception of 30 minutes a day spent outside in a cage, a literal cage. She told me in her letter yesterday that she has finally been put into general population which she was thrilled about. Having alittle freedom means alot to her.
We have been praying since Sept. 09 that the Rainwaters and my family be approved to go to St. Gabriel to visit Tanya, we went month after month not hearing a word as to whether or not we were approved. After many phone calls from a number of people, we found out that they lost our applications and that we need to reapply. So, the applications are in the mail back to the prison so hopefully this time will be fruitful. What that a blessing that will be for us but most importantly for her.
Another answered pray.....The Chaplain at St. Gabriel is a strong Christian man that according to Tanya looks like St. Nic. After my email and some phone calls from Rev. Johnny Miller (Mark's pastor in Monroe) he has been to visit Tanya numerous times and has been such a blessing to her. He even invited her to a "retreat" held there at the prison. This retreat is by invitation only and they go to another section of the prison, they bring in home cooked food and have Bible Studies. I was so happy to hear that Tanya was going to go. Remember, she has not made that committment to Christ, please pray that she will during this retreat in Feb.
I am so amazed by God. Not only because of what He is doing in my life but in Tanya's. Isn't it amazing that God loves us not because He has to, but because He wants to. Thank you God for loving me.
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